I don't know what I'm doing

Thoughts

Since i was young, every fucking thing was about not doing what others expect me to. I guess thats my main problem and the reason why i always fail at satisfying people in an emotional base.

First of all, I'm not quite sure if anyone who is interested in this will ever read it, because I'd like to have some kind of privacy. Still i feel the need to share some things. This is why I'm using the world wide web to get informed of some very basic things about psychology.

This video I found, let me try to talk about my feelings to several people in my surrounding.
It tells the story of an very young girl who was abused in very inhuman ways. She feels evil and acts evil, but in the end there is a slight change in her mind that tells her, she has been doing many things wrong in her life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2-Re_Fl_L4

A Poem

or poemish Text

[written by Euphoria. (c)]

I feel like I'm healing,

when I'm with you

The hole in my chest

is slightly reducing

if you lay your head on my breast

the wind blows through my hair

and i tiny smile

i see there

just like I'm healing

when i feel your breath.

Can't stand

being without you

in my arms i hold your head

just feels like a treasure in my hands

and i hope

this might be the greatest thing

anyone has ever told

the sweetest memory

because every child

can feel

us both

Won't do any harm

just hoping to hold you warm

even if I'm cold.

It does not hurt anyone,

if us both are misunderstood by everyone.

Just keeping you warm.